215 days to leave Regent studios

A good Tuesday. Very productive process session with Peter Annan. Was wondering why I was going to therapy when I feel so relatively great. He pointed out that therapy is not just to deal with problems but perhaps also to increase awareness, increase your experience both within yourself and with relation to the rest of the world. Why I like process work, it’s a systematic relating from self through shadow self to our narrative systems to our processing channels into relationship with others and interrelations with the outer/ wider world. Always confusing to hold all these consciousneses together and so a system is very helpful. I am also trying to hold all these things together in I am not a Village and he got very excited about the project and immediately saw it’s relationship to his own situation and to process work in general. Great and amazing. Really helpful as a foundational way of thinking about the project that is also necessary in terms of how I have a continual subtext of needing to work on how I work due to previous burnout, as well as the belief that how we work is as important the the work itself as a micsocosm or model for socio-political behaviour in the world.

Then went to meet Dad to buy him Birthday lunch at the Holly Bush. Delicious Goose then  walk over the Heath to his flat for him to collect some things

Before we went off to the Tate Performing for the Camera exhibition:

Mixed feelings at first, felt only boredom with Yves Klein, Joseph Beuys, Andy Warhol. Maybe there was something radicalising about the Yves Klein images though, those bored looking naked ladies rolling in paint and surrounded by bored people in suits and pearls

yves-klein-anthropometries-1961

Made it all the more exilerating to see Yayoi Kasuma’s wonderful naked dotty protests

and a familiar set of Yvonne Rainer images:

mangolte

At first I could feel myself desiring movement. Somehow considering these images now at home thanks to the internet (and some images by the same artists not in the exhibition) gives more pleasure/ makes more sense of the stillness. I couldn’t handle at first trying to process the stillness of the images in a gallery full of a loud German teenage school party. Irritated myself with my irritation, me such a fan of the “real world”, antipathy to the silent audience.

Had somehow never before seen these images of Hijikata by Eikoh Hosoe before. Having mostly seen his rather Gothic film work and been less excited. I’d always thought of Ohno as the more humourous and thus warmed to him but these images are glorious

eikohhosoe

eikohhosoe me

SO in tune with their environment, so makes sense of the dancer in their exact location

eikohhosoe hijikata

And others I was shockingly unaware of Gaspard-Félix Tournachon and as Honore Daumier immortalised him as: Nadar Elevating Photography to the Heights of Art, 1862

The creation of unrealities through the theatrical stills

nadar-norme-caprice-chateau-tours-L-6

Hicham Benahoud’s amazingly expressive pictures created in collaboration with his classes of Moroccan school children, through simple props expressing so much their experience under their countries’ regime

Somehow the Feminism evident in the work of Adrian Piper and Valie Export felt weak in this context. token, or do I only read them as Feminist, my limitation? Frances Woodward’s work just made me want to yell “get out of the house more”, as her narcissism, though artful and definitely beautiful, just made her suicide at 22 feel inevitable to me, or is that again reading too much in through the lens of scant knowledge?

fran_1762384b

Why does the Beauty in Hosoe’s work with Hijikata move me so much more than Woodman’s.. Because there’s an external eye. Am I just afraid of Solipsism (as I also discussed in Process session, my irritation about too much “self-indulgence” working on the self, wanting always to balance this to relations to others. Is this like Meta was feeling in Epping forest, as described to me by Barbara: 3 year old child grown up in Hackney and Ljubjana in a natural environment for the first time, runs happily for the first 10 minutes then starts to cry and shout “WE’RE ALL ALONE” and won’t calm down till they encounter other people. Being similarly a city girl is this my feeling. Not wanting to acknowledge my all-aloneness.. I guess Saffron’s relationship to her city is also her trying to noodle all of this out.

Lucy Thane Saffron1

And I guess this discomfort made me adore Boris Mikhailov’s irreverent self-portraits, apparently made because he felt he must explore himself if he was going to always turn his lens on others

boris mikhailov

mikhailov

David Wojnarowitz, Tokyo Rumando and Jemima Stehli, exemplify this tension also in ways more satisfying: The Self, Other and World. Altogether a satisfying exhibition

Left via the Milennium bridge (Dad off to his writing group in Bonington square. Tried to lighten my feeling of loss of my once loved Riverscapes now polluted by the Shard and the other “Sex Toys” blighting our skyline by trying to find humour and balance in them (need a camera and more focus if my photography will improve again!

Decided to drop in on Babs, Rob and Meta on the way home, ate, drank, talked and laughed with them. Yes a very satisfying Tuesday.

 

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